The WOO-HOO Clan

Back to being light hearted this week...

How many of you out there are faithful believers of the third realm.... you know spirits, paranormal goings on, psychic readings, energy, and electromagnetic fields otherwise known as auras?

It’s fair to say I am NOT the biggest proponent of the unseen, but for some reason the universe chose to surround me with my own “Whoo Hoo” clan.... Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, Halle Soothsayer, oracle of prophecy extraordinaire, High Princess Winston, the high heeled, Jimmy Choo wearing wizard of Venice and finally, the “Whoo Hoo“ Queen herself, Val, the omnipresent, all seeing healer of West Hollywood.

Believe me, I exaggerate not (well a little, but that’s par for the course). For those of you who have ever read or listened to a lyric of mine (that’s a shameless plug, go to www.billiemyers.com) we clearly are as different as can be; I am the oil spill, in their chi laden water, but hey opposites attract (Sorry chaps, yet another shameless plug of the first album!)

I send Harry and David candy through the post, Ryan sends Mojo over the psychic network. I read the news and listen to Anderson Cooper; Halle reads “The power of now” and listens to synchronistic vibrations while she chants “Om Vajrapani Hum” 128 times. I go to the doctor, get blood tests, take pills etc; Val drains bodily fluids, takes a prescription of DIY reiki and swings moonshine crystals over her chest. When I feel a little blue, I take Wellbutrin; when Winston’s off color, she goes to a charka-realigning therapist and begins yet another liver ‘lemon and olive oil’ cleanse (these examples, are the absolute truth, not word of embellishment)

God bless their cotton socks, is all I can say... I adore them, but in the last month, they have really upped the ante.

Val did an “energy clearing” using, what looked like. two wire coat hangers to me, at Winston’s house because there was a group of ‘negative spirit squatters’ in her cellar (it’s good to know that the economic recession is reaching everyone, but I wonder what currency they are using for the bailout- Ouija boards?). Halle “got hit out of the right side of her head” (that’s how she describes her visions) declared over dinner that someone had just died...but that it was strange because whatever/whoever it was did not feel human, only to receive a call five minutes later informing her that a friends cat had just died (a cat by the way that Halle had given her) ...I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT UNNERVED ME ...Winston’s charka realignment therapist theorized that any mind/body/soul imbalance was due to hidden alien probe that must have been implanted during a childhood abduction.

As strange as the above are ...my personal favorite for this month was Val telling me I had a group of dancing fairies on the hill...yes, you read correctly, fairies, as in short dwarf like ethereal creatures. However, I am rather suspect on this one.

Reason no.1: When I asked Val, if they where wearing tu-tus she said “No” – oh please, what self respecting fairy would be caught out and about, in Hollywood, without a rhinestone encrusted tu-tu...?

Reason no.2: Val couldn’t tell me what they were dancing too...very suspect me thinks...surely they would have been dancing to ‘Ghostrider’ by Simple Minds or ‘Fairies Wear Boots” by Black Sabbath ...therefore, I rest my case; she clearly had a misleading, red wine infused hallucination of her third eye.

As for Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, I think the psychic network must be down having thaumaturgy related technical difficulties, because it’s been awfully quiet on the hoodoo voodoo front...

.... Abracadabra to you all.
Bx

P.S. I’m reliably informed that my aura is Lavender...