It’s the witching hour, well that might be a bit on exaggeration; it’s just turned four o’clock in the morning, and the heckling coyotes have definitely just done something I don’t want to know about. Living in a canyon is great, but howls that go bang night can be a little unnerving…. especially since I do have an overactive imagination. (Shocker!)
A normal household spider could never be just that. It’d have to be some deadly redback stow-away 8-legged beast that’s traveled across the seas from Australia with the sole intent of biting me whilst I sleep. A moving shadow floating into some dark corner of my bedroom is a demon waiting for just the right moment to steal my soul. A curvaceous dark-colored branch, strew harmlessly in the middle of the road, is an Inland Taipan snake waiting to swallow me whole as I jog by! I’ve even transformed a local chunky100lb dog or 2 into mountain lions.
In my own defense, I’m not completely off the mark. As I said, I do live in a canyon, in a little ole house that has, and I quote my cable guy verbatim, “the biggest black widows he’s ever seen!” underneath. In my attic I did find a dead, albeit small scorpion, but hey a scorpion is a scorpion! There’ve been a few mountain lion attacks, and numerous actual sighting in the last few years. While, my back yard is harmless (rodents don’t scare me) it does back up against a hill that appears to hold nightly revival/dinner meetings on a “no membership required” basis, for all of the local 4 legged wildlife population of raccoons, opossums, coyotes, skunks… However, given that I am deathly afraid of snakes this little nugget is by far the worst! According to my landlord the hill is also “rattlesnake infested”. (Of course this wasn’t mentioned to me when I signed the lease…)
Come on, you’d have to agree that unless you were trying out for a Jeff Corwin type job on the Animal planet “The hill” is a no go zone ……
I love where I live, but it does provide my overactive imagination with a little too much “How many ways can Billie, die a grisly death ” brain fodder. From my queen-sized bed I have co-starred in The Hills Have Eyes, pt 7, Arachnophobia, Halloween pt 6, and both installments of The Exorcist... However, of late I have been getting a little move adventurous and creating my own scripts....
Of course, these midnight musing always take place on “The Hill” and usually I am the high heeled, mini skirt wearing hero of the day who saves all innocents!...I been almost sucked dry by a lovelorn vampire who wanted an eternal companion, attacked by werewolves, nearly sacrificed to the devil, by stay at home mothers turned snake worshipping Satanists, practically eaten alive by a mutant snake/spider creation who needed human flesh to survive, held captive in an underground air-restricted chamber by my creepy neighbor and dragged down to hell by the chap in Nightmare on Elm street!...you get the drift me thinks...OVERACTIVE is the word of the night!
You might ask why is my mind going haywire tonight and what did I mean by “Today I received a severed finger in the post....”?
Today I went to the letterbox and there in its evil mitts, was a lovely little black box. Thinking some unknown admirer had sent me a priceless jewel I opened it up and instead found a severed finger with black ribbon wrapped around it, nestled in an avant -garde arrangement of straw...along with this ‘flesh toned jewel” was an invite to a fab Halloween party from one of my most wonderfully creative and voodoo influenced friends! Some people send cards...evites...even call you on the phone and say hi “ I’m having a party wanna come?”.... not her!
Of course given the originality of the invite the pressure is on ... What do I wear?
Hopefully, my overactive imagination will be of some use at last!
FYI: This is the type of downright silly blog one writes after receiving a severed finger in the post....
Bx
27 October, 2009
11 October, 2009
I’ve been asked by several people why someone who is clearly British, is singing “America the Beautiful” at the national equality march. There are many reasons why I want to be involved, but before I get to those, I have to confess that every time I’m asked that question I wonder to myself “why ask, isn’t it obvious?” Isn’t it obvious that everybody should be throwing his or her support behind this weekend’s national equality March? Isn’t it obvious that Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender people, not only across America, but also across the world should have equal protection in all rights? This march is not about who sings but about why they do.
Some people have complained saying that marches are ineffective and a “waist of time”, thank you for your support Barney Frank. To them, I say, silence and inaction, no matter which way you slice or dice are less effective still, and if anything only encourage our opponents agenda.
“Never be bullied into silence.Never allow yourself to be made a victim.Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.class
I am bisexual, and I make no apology for that fact, and in this case of my sexual identity trumps my nationally. The people attending the national equality March are not marching because they want some type of exclusive, out of the ordinary treatment; they are marching because they want to be treated like absolutely everybody else. I do not profess to be an expert on constitutional law, but it’s my understanding that the amendment speaks to “separation of church and state and that the 14 amendment guarantees “equal protection under the law and provides liberty and justice for all. I believe the US Constitution has been amended 27 times since it was adopted and with the exception of prohibition not one of those amendments sought to restrict civil rights, only expand them. As such, and please correct me if I am wrong, does that not mean that people who are using (abusing, in actuality) religion, in this case, Christianity, as the default criteria for equality goes against the very doctrine upon which America was founded? Confused, me too, given that the vast majority of people who oppose equality seem to delight in justifying their stance by quoting the bible!
If we were to apply this criterion across the board wouldn’t it mean that people of different religions are not married in the eyes of the law?So next time someone says For a man to lie with another man as he would a woman is 'toevah'" (Leviticus 20:13), tell them that in that very same passage we are also told that eating shrimp is “toevah”(roughly translated means sin)). Ask them, if this the very same bible that happily states that a father may sell his daughter into slavery, (Exodus 21:7) that touching pigs skin makes us unclean (Leviticus 11:8) and that a person should be put to death for working on the Sabbath (Leviticus 23:3).
Equal rights are not special rights they are the rights of every human being. Full Equality means the right to work jobs, go to school free of harassment and discrimination, protection from hate crimes, equitable healthcare, the option to donate blood, equitable immigration policies and status, marriage and the right to serve in the military openly.
“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one” (~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988)
November of this year we saw the first election of an African American to the highest office but on that very same day I saw the passage of a law in California that prohibited marriage between same-sex.-...that’s the definition of one step forward two steps back ..so please stop telling me to be patient..i want equality and I want it NOW.
Obama has said that nobody has the right to be penalized and for whom they love, however, for all the lovely rhetoric, it’s sad to note that equality as an issue has become a political hot potato of sorts, being batted back and fourth between both democrats and republicans. Despite election promises, the Don’t ask don’t tell” has not been amended and quality as it relates to government benefits has not been afforded. Whatever happened to “Yes, we can” ...I had hoped that after almost a year in office that the GLBT community would be saying, “Yes we did!”
Today, I will stand in Washington and sing (hopefully in tune)… in reality it’s a very small thing to do but at least I say I’m not being silent or complacent let’s all take an active role in battling prejudice and discrimination around the globe.
Some people have complained saying that marches are ineffective and a “waist of time”, thank you for your support Barney Frank. To them, I say, silence and inaction, no matter which way you slice or dice are less effective still, and if anything only encourage our opponents agenda.
“Never be bullied into silence.Never allow yourself to be made a victim.Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.class
I am bisexual, and I make no apology for that fact, and in this case of my sexual identity trumps my nationally. The people attending the national equality March are not marching because they want some type of exclusive, out of the ordinary treatment; they are marching because they want to be treated like absolutely everybody else. I do not profess to be an expert on constitutional law, but it’s my understanding that the amendment speaks to “separation of church and state and that the 14 amendment guarantees “equal protection under the law and provides liberty and justice for all. I believe the US Constitution has been amended 27 times since it was adopted and with the exception of prohibition not one of those amendments sought to restrict civil rights, only expand them. As such, and please correct me if I am wrong, does that not mean that people who are using (abusing, in actuality) religion, in this case, Christianity, as the default criteria for equality goes against the very doctrine upon which America was founded? Confused, me too, given that the vast majority of people who oppose equality seem to delight in justifying their stance by quoting the bible!
If we were to apply this criterion across the board wouldn’t it mean that people of different religions are not married in the eyes of the law?So next time someone says For a man to lie with another man as he would a woman is 'toevah'" (Leviticus 20:13), tell them that in that very same passage we are also told that eating shrimp is “toevah”(roughly translated means sin)). Ask them, if this the very same bible that happily states that a father may sell his daughter into slavery, (Exodus 21:7) that touching pigs skin makes us unclean (Leviticus 11:8) and that a person should be put to death for working on the Sabbath (Leviticus 23:3).
Equal rights are not special rights they are the rights of every human being. Full Equality means the right to work jobs, go to school free of harassment and discrimination, protection from hate crimes, equitable healthcare, the option to donate blood, equitable immigration policies and status, marriage and the right to serve in the military openly.
“When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one” (~Epitaph of Leonard P. Matlovich, 1988)
November of this year we saw the first election of an African American to the highest office but on that very same day I saw the passage of a law in California that prohibited marriage between same-sex.-...that’s the definition of one step forward two steps back ..so please stop telling me to be patient..i want equality and I want it NOW.
Obama has said that nobody has the right to be penalized and for whom they love, however, for all the lovely rhetoric, it’s sad to note that equality as an issue has become a political hot potato of sorts, being batted back and fourth between both democrats and republicans. Despite election promises, the Don’t ask don’t tell” has not been amended and quality as it relates to government benefits has not been afforded. Whatever happened to “Yes, we can” ...I had hoped that after almost a year in office that the GLBT community would be saying, “Yes we did!”
Today, I will stand in Washington and sing (hopefully in tune)… in reality it’s a very small thing to do but at least I say I’m not being silent or complacent let’s all take an active role in battling prejudice and discrimination around the globe.
05 June, 2009
First single...
Hi there all, forgive this shameless plug...
Firstly – I want to take a moment to express how grateful I am for all support that you have given to me over the years....
As some of you know, the first single, “I hope you’re Happy now” from my forthcoming third album (“Tea and Sympathy”) is coming out in a matter of weeks... it will go up I-tunes as of July 8th.
Having not put out an album for 7 years, it’s fair to say that I’m effectively starting over, as regards building up a Fan base, so any grass roots support you can give would be truly welcomed. As an unsigned artist, word of mouth is a key aspect of getting back out there, so a mention on your MySpace / Face Book page, blog, a word to your friends, anything and everything would be so appreciated. The more novel the better!!!!
Yep, feel free to run naked down the high street yelling, “Billie myers has a new album coming out”...Exploit subliminal “fan awareness” imprinting concepts and answer any question with “I hope you’re happy now”. For example, should you get stopped for speeding by the police, when asked if you knew how fast you were going, simply say, ”Billie Myers, I hope you’re happy now”. It my not be the ultimate get out of jail card but hey, what can I say – it’s worth a shot... (Of course I am joking.... kinda, not really!)
After talking and more talking “Tea and sympathy” is finally here. Fingers-crossed you’ll enjoy it, and feel that your patience over the last few years was worth it!
Over the next month, I will be previewing “I hope you’re happy now” along with other tracks (free downloads and all) on my Face book Fan page, Billiemyers.com, and on My space page, along with little extras, like artwork, lyrics, acoustic versions, video sound bites, and of course the obligatory “sex sells” photo montage (well, I was once told that if I’d worn sexier outfits, and shown more skin I would of have had another hit.... I swear to god, that’s true!).... So armed with a new album, a push up water Bra, Prada ‘come hither’ heels, and of course, Photoshopped pictures enhanced by “pseudo Billie body parts” comprising of Angelina Jolie’s lips, Madonna’s yogi arms and Heidi Klums legs, I think I’ve faked all the bases!!!)
So, if you get a moment click the links below as all the above will be up soon, and again thank you for hanging in there.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Billie-Myers/58709712785?ref=mf
http://www.myspace.com/billiemyers
http://billiemyers.com
Firstly – I want to take a moment to express how grateful I am for all support that you have given to me over the years....
As some of you know, the first single, “I hope you’re Happy now” from my forthcoming third album (“Tea and Sympathy”) is coming out in a matter of weeks... it will go up I-tunes as of July 8th.
Having not put out an album for 7 years, it’s fair to say that I’m effectively starting over, as regards building up a Fan base, so any grass roots support you can give would be truly welcomed. As an unsigned artist, word of mouth is a key aspect of getting back out there, so a mention on your MySpace / Face Book page, blog, a word to your friends, anything and everything would be so appreciated. The more novel the better!!!!
Yep, feel free to run naked down the high street yelling, “Billie myers has a new album coming out”...Exploit subliminal “fan awareness” imprinting concepts and answer any question with “I hope you’re happy now”. For example, should you get stopped for speeding by the police, when asked if you knew how fast you were going, simply say, ”Billie Myers, I hope you’re happy now”. It my not be the ultimate get out of jail card but hey, what can I say – it’s worth a shot... (Of course I am joking.... kinda, not really!)
After talking and more talking “Tea and sympathy” is finally here. Fingers-crossed you’ll enjoy it, and feel that your patience over the last few years was worth it!
Over the next month, I will be previewing “I hope you’re happy now” along with other tracks (free downloads and all) on my Face book Fan page, Billiemyers.com, and on My space page, along with little extras, like artwork, lyrics, acoustic versions, video sound bites, and of course the obligatory “sex sells” photo montage (well, I was once told that if I’d worn sexier outfits, and shown more skin I would of have had another hit.... I swear to god, that’s true!).... So armed with a new album, a push up water Bra, Prada ‘come hither’ heels, and of course, Photoshopped pictures enhanced by “pseudo Billie body parts” comprising of Angelina Jolie’s lips, Madonna’s yogi arms and Heidi Klums legs, I think I’ve faked all the bases!!!)
So, if you get a moment click the links below as all the above will be up soon, and again thank you for hanging in there.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Billie-Myers/58709712785?ref=mf
http://www.myspace.com/billiemyers
http://billiemyers.com
02 May, 2009
The WOO-HOO Clan
Back to being light hearted this week...
How many of you out there are faithful believers of the third realm.... you know spirits, paranormal goings on, psychic readings, energy, and electromagnetic fields otherwise known as auras?
It’s fair to say I am NOT the biggest proponent of the unseen, but for some reason the universe chose to surround me with my own “Whoo Hoo” clan.... Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, Halle Soothsayer, oracle of prophecy extraordinaire, High Princess Winston, the high heeled, Jimmy Choo wearing wizard of Venice and finally, the “Whoo Hoo“ Queen herself, Val, the omnipresent, all seeing healer of West Hollywood.
Believe me, I exaggerate not (well a little, but that’s par for the course). For those of you who have ever read or listened to a lyric of mine (that’s a shameless plug, go to www.billiemyers.com) we clearly are as different as can be; I am the oil spill, in their chi laden water, but hey opposites attract (Sorry chaps, yet another shameless plug of the first album!)
I send Harry and David candy through the post, Ryan sends Mojo over the psychic network. I read the news and listen to Anderson Cooper; Halle reads “The power of now” and listens to synchronistic vibrations while she chants “Om Vajrapani Hum” 128 times. I go to the doctor, get blood tests, take pills etc; Val drains bodily fluids, takes a prescription of DIY reiki and swings moonshine crystals over her chest. When I feel a little blue, I take Wellbutrin; when Winston’s off color, she goes to a charka-realigning therapist and begins yet another liver ‘lemon and olive oil’ cleanse (these examples, are the absolute truth, not word of embellishment)
God bless their cotton socks, is all I can say... I adore them, but in the last month, they have really upped the ante.
Val did an “energy clearing” using, what looked like. two wire coat hangers to me, at Winston’s house because there was a group of ‘negative spirit squatters’ in her cellar (it’s good to know that the economic recession is reaching everyone, but I wonder what currency they are using for the bailout- Ouija boards?). Halle “got hit out of the right side of her head” (that’s how she describes her visions) declared over dinner that someone had just died...but that it was strange because whatever/whoever it was did not feel human, only to receive a call five minutes later informing her that a friends cat had just died (a cat by the way that Halle had given her) ...I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT UNNERVED ME ...Winston’s charka realignment therapist theorized that any mind/body/soul imbalance was due to hidden alien probe that must have been implanted during a childhood abduction.
As strange as the above are ...my personal favorite for this month was Val telling me I had a group of dancing fairies on the hill...yes, you read correctly, fairies, as in short dwarf like ethereal creatures. However, I am rather suspect on this one.
Reason no.1: When I asked Val, if they where wearing tu-tus she said “No” – oh please, what self respecting fairy would be caught out and about, in Hollywood, without a rhinestone encrusted tu-tu...?
Reason no.2: Val couldn’t tell me what they were dancing too...very suspect me thinks...surely they would have been dancing to ‘Ghostrider’ by Simple Minds or ‘Fairies Wear Boots” by Black Sabbath ...therefore, I rest my case; she clearly had a misleading, red wine infused hallucination of her third eye.
As for Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, I think the psychic network must be down having thaumaturgy related technical difficulties, because it’s been awfully quiet on the hoodoo voodoo front...
.... Abracadabra to you all.
Bx
P.S. I’m reliably informed that my aura is Lavender...
How many of you out there are faithful believers of the third realm.... you know spirits, paranormal goings on, psychic readings, energy, and electromagnetic fields otherwise known as auras?
It’s fair to say I am NOT the biggest proponent of the unseen, but for some reason the universe chose to surround me with my own “Whoo Hoo” clan.... Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, Halle Soothsayer, oracle of prophecy extraordinaire, High Princess Winston, the high heeled, Jimmy Choo wearing wizard of Venice and finally, the “Whoo Hoo“ Queen herself, Val, the omnipresent, all seeing healer of West Hollywood.
Believe me, I exaggerate not (well a little, but that’s par for the course). For those of you who have ever read or listened to a lyric of mine (that’s a shameless plug, go to www.billiemyers.com) we clearly are as different as can be; I am the oil spill, in their chi laden water, but hey opposites attract (Sorry chaps, yet another shameless plug of the first album!)
I send Harry and David candy through the post, Ryan sends Mojo over the psychic network. I read the news and listen to Anderson Cooper; Halle reads “The power of now” and listens to synchronistic vibrations while she chants “Om Vajrapani Hum” 128 times. I go to the doctor, get blood tests, take pills etc; Val drains bodily fluids, takes a prescription of DIY reiki and swings moonshine crystals over her chest. When I feel a little blue, I take Wellbutrin; when Winston’s off color, she goes to a charka-realigning therapist and begins yet another liver ‘lemon and olive oil’ cleanse (these examples, are the absolute truth, not word of embellishment)
God bless their cotton socks, is all I can say... I adore them, but in the last month, they have really upped the ante.
Val did an “energy clearing” using, what looked like. two wire coat hangers to me, at Winston’s house because there was a group of ‘negative spirit squatters’ in her cellar (it’s good to know that the economic recession is reaching everyone, but I wonder what currency they are using for the bailout- Ouija boards?). Halle “got hit out of the right side of her head” (that’s how she describes her visions) declared over dinner that someone had just died...but that it was strange because whatever/whoever it was did not feel human, only to receive a call five minutes later informing her that a friends cat had just died (a cat by the way that Halle had given her) ...I HAVE TO CONFESS THAT UNNERVED ME ...Winston’s charka realignment therapist theorized that any mind/body/soul imbalance was due to hidden alien probe that must have been implanted during a childhood abduction.
As strange as the above are ...my personal favorite for this month was Val telling me I had a group of dancing fairies on the hill...yes, you read correctly, fairies, as in short dwarf like ethereal creatures. However, I am rather suspect on this one.
Reason no.1: When I asked Val, if they where wearing tu-tus she said “No” – oh please, what self respecting fairy would be caught out and about, in Hollywood, without a rhinestone encrusted tu-tu...?
Reason no.2: Val couldn’t tell me what they were dancing too...very suspect me thinks...surely they would have been dancing to ‘Ghostrider’ by Simple Minds or ‘Fairies Wear Boots” by Black Sabbath ...therefore, I rest my case; she clearly had a misleading, red wine infused hallucination of her third eye.
As for Ryan, the righteous cosmic knight of magical mojo, I think the psychic network must be down having thaumaturgy related technical difficulties, because it’s been awfully quiet on the hoodoo voodoo front...
.... Abracadabra to you all.
Bx
P.S. I’m reliably informed that my aura is Lavender...
24 April, 2009
Why I Took Part In The NO H8 Campaign
As some of you know I went along to partake in the NOH8 campaign this week. I would have thought that the reasoning behind it was obvious, but clearly not, given I was asked by someone “why?” however it wasn’t in that “what motivated you, that’s great”, way. NO, it was more in a “God why bother?’ kind of way. In this day and age I am shocked by how desensitized we have become to the world around us... so I thought I’d list a few reason why some of us need to take our heads out of our ( . ) – please inset an appropriate body part!
Whilst the initial stimulus for this campaign was in response to Proposition 8, which eliminated the rights of same-sex couples’ to marry in California, NO H8 is about hate in all forms as you can hear Adam and Jeff state on the videotape. Displaying no innate prejudice itself, hate wears a ubiquitous face of feral virulence that discriminates against no-one in particular as it crosses all racial, sexual, religious or social- economic barriers, which ironically means that we can all be victims of its super glue grip.
1. The annual report by the Los Angeles County Human Relations Commission showed hate crimes rose by 28%, to 763, with vandalism and assault leading the way....” an alarming trend, hate crimes based on race, religion and sexual orientation all rose, increasing against nearly all groups -- including blacks, gays, Jews, Mexicans, whites and Asian” ( LA times/ July 08)
22 April, 2009
Maybe I'm Wrong, But Secrecy Sometimes Needs To Trump Transparency
Let me be clear, wars are a terrible waste of human life, usually predicated on some chaps perverse need for power, and yes when they occur it would be great if all parties played by the Geneva convention rules, but for the most part that’s not the real world. Wars are by definition the very abhorrence of fair play.
Withholding food, forcing prisoners to stand in uncomfortable positions for long periods, confinement in cramped boxes, putting insects into a box with a prisoner who has a strong fear of insects and simulated drowning are of course, all forms of torture to a lesser or greater degree. But forgive my sarcasm, what does releasing classified torture memos achieve....
I’m not questioning Barack’s well intentioned sense of right or wrong, but I think its naïve on his part to believe that this idea of transparency will lead to Abu Zubaydah or the likes realizing the error of their ways. Somehow I doubt they’ll be releasing Al-Qaeda torture memos later on today, or rewriting a new Al-Qaeda rules of engagement pamphlet; suicide bombings -out, putting kids in the line of fire - out ...oh and executing westerners on national TV, -out.
I wish it was easy to rise above the lowest common denominator of humanity, but when you are dealing with people who are cutting off heads, to make a point I’m not sure how giving up the intelligence playbook and making terrorists completely aware of the absolute limits to which we can go during interrogation, is a good thing.
Call me quirky, but I don’t think the “Oh please sir could you tell me where your fellow cohorts keep the soldiers you captured last week?” approach is going to work...
Withholding food, forcing prisoners to stand in uncomfortable positions for long periods, confinement in cramped boxes, putting insects into a box with a prisoner who has a strong fear of insects and simulated drowning are of course, all forms of torture to a lesser or greater degree. But forgive my sarcasm, what does releasing classified torture memos achieve....
I’m not questioning Barack’s well intentioned sense of right or wrong, but I think its naïve on his part to believe that this idea of transparency will lead to Abu Zubaydah or the likes realizing the error of their ways. Somehow I doubt they’ll be releasing Al-Qaeda torture memos later on today, or rewriting a new Al-Qaeda rules of engagement pamphlet; suicide bombings -out, putting kids in the line of fire - out ...oh and executing westerners on national TV, -out.
I wish it was easy to rise above the lowest common denominator of humanity, but when you are dealing with people who are cutting off heads, to make a point I’m not sure how giving up the intelligence playbook and making terrorists completely aware of the absolute limits to which we can go during interrogation, is a good thing.
Call me quirky, but I don’t think the “Oh please sir could you tell me where your fellow cohorts keep the soldiers you captured last week?” approach is going to work...
10 April, 2009
Some People REALLY Suck
I apologize in advance for the venting I’m about to inflict upon you.
Today I met 2 pathetic low-life excuses for breathing space...or more to the point, 2 pieces of walking/talking excrement masquerading as human beings ... strong I know but I am soooo beyond being pissed of right now....
A little back story.... just so you understand where I’m coming from...
Last night as some friends and I were driving to dinner, we noticed a collarless stray dog, which to our horror was darting in and out of traffic, as he ran from one side of the street to another. So we parked the car, and tried to coax him over to us but, sadly, he was scared, lost and clearly confused, and as such was too skittish to let any of us near enough to get a leash on him. A few lovely people in the area helped, and told us that he had running wild for 2 days, and that they had also tried to catch him- the general consensus was that he had been dumped and given the burn marks on his body most likely abused.
Obviously we couldn't’t just let the little mite wander the streets, so for an hour or so we tried all types of gentle persuasion. But again he wasn’t having any of it so we opted to follow him at a distance, on foot and by car, hoping at some point he would tire out or wander into an area where we could corner him. Unfortunately, neither of those outcomes happened, as he was startled by a car alarm going off, and tore off, disappearing out of sight down an alleyway. We drove around the neighborhood to no avail. He was gone, and there was nothing we could do. Of course, we hoped by some miracle that he’d found his way back home, and was safe and sound...
Cut to this morning....
I was driving my down the same hill, and saw the same dog walking on the sidewalk, seemingly tired and limping. So I called the same friends, and yet again we tried to get him. We tried water, dog food, treats, In fact one of people helping was a dog whisperer,
but even tired, he wasn’t allowing anyone close. After a couple of hours we decided that it was time to call a local NO KILL shelter to get the dog-catchers in, however even that proved fruitless as we were told that he wasn’t a priory, not to mention there were 8 dogs in front of him. The earliest they could come out was early evening. To be honest, at this point none of us knew what to do, but the little mite was clearly tired, and in pain, so we kept trying.
For another hr of so we followed him, and as luck would have it, just as we thinking we were getting nowhere he walked into a garden...a garden that had a gate and no other means of escape...obviously we thought we had him. We closed the gate and went to the car, out came the leash, and with food in hand, we approached the gate slowly. Just as were just about to reopen the gate a man starts yelling from behind us, telling me to politely move my “fucking car” which in fairness to him was partly blocking his drive. As I tried to reverse the car I had to stop to let a SUV go by and despite taking at most, less that a minute to maneuver out of his way, it wasn’t fast enough for him, so as he got off of his car he kept going on about me being in his “fucking driveway”. Clearly, eloquence is not his first, second or third language
My friends tried to calm him down and explained what happened, but he didn’t give a flying monkey, oh no he walked over to the gate, opened it and walked in, cursing up a storm about us trespassing and the like…which by the way we wern’t, unless touching a gate is considered trespassing in the US. By now the dog is cowering in the corner, clearly petrified. We tried again to explain the situation, hoping only that he would let us in to put a leash on the dog, but being a complete wanker he ignored us. Just when it couldn’t get any worse his wife came out on to the porch, holding what I can only assume was an unfortunate child of theirs... apparently the dog was scaring her “diabetic cat”. I kid you not...yes, the same dog who had gone nowhere near the house and was cowering in the furthest corner of the garden.
While we were begging him to let us in, or to take the leash and bring the dog to us, his wife walked over to him, handed him the baby and then walked up to the gate and without so much as a backward glance flung the gate wide open ... both her and her lovely specimen of a husband thought it was very amusing and stood back laughing as the dog flew out of the garden at full speed.... and disappeared.
So I’m really pissed right now...I have no idea where the dog is I, but I do know that if these ‘vomit buckets’ had helped, or at the very least not hindered our attempt to help, the dog would be somewhere safe and sound.
How could anyone with any degree of humanity behave in such an utterly repugnant manner is beyond me. Neither one of them had any qualms, about what they’d done... in fact he seemed quite chuffed with his maggot macho self as he told us “bitches“(his words not mine) “to fuck off” all the while holding the baby.
As I said at the top of this page.... today I met 2 pathetic excuses for breathing space...or more to the point, 2 pieces of walking/talking excrement masquerading as human beings
Again to be fair, I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t return the favor with some choice words of my own...but anything I may have said wasn’t enough.
Today I met 2 pathetic low-life excuses for breathing space...or more to the point, 2 pieces of walking/talking excrement masquerading as human beings ... strong I know but I am soooo beyond being pissed of right now....
A little back story.... just so you understand where I’m coming from...
Last night as some friends and I were driving to dinner, we noticed a collarless stray dog, which to our horror was darting in and out of traffic, as he ran from one side of the street to another. So we parked the car, and tried to coax him over to us but, sadly, he was scared, lost and clearly confused, and as such was too skittish to let any of us near enough to get a leash on him. A few lovely people in the area helped, and told us that he had running wild for 2 days, and that they had also tried to catch him- the general consensus was that he had been dumped and given the burn marks on his body most likely abused.
Obviously we couldn't’t just let the little mite wander the streets, so for an hour or so we tried all types of gentle persuasion. But again he wasn’t having any of it so we opted to follow him at a distance, on foot and by car, hoping at some point he would tire out or wander into an area where we could corner him. Unfortunately, neither of those outcomes happened, as he was startled by a car alarm going off, and tore off, disappearing out of sight down an alleyway. We drove around the neighborhood to no avail. He was gone, and there was nothing we could do. Of course, we hoped by some miracle that he’d found his way back home, and was safe and sound...
Cut to this morning....
I was driving my down the same hill, and saw the same dog walking on the sidewalk, seemingly tired and limping. So I called the same friends, and yet again we tried to get him. We tried water, dog food, treats, In fact one of people helping was a dog whisperer,
but even tired, he wasn’t allowing anyone close. After a couple of hours we decided that it was time to call a local NO KILL shelter to get the dog-catchers in, however even that proved fruitless as we were told that he wasn’t a priory, not to mention there were 8 dogs in front of him. The earliest they could come out was early evening. To be honest, at this point none of us knew what to do, but the little mite was clearly tired, and in pain, so we kept trying.
For another hr of so we followed him, and as luck would have it, just as we thinking we were getting nowhere he walked into a garden...a garden that had a gate and no other means of escape...obviously we thought we had him. We closed the gate and went to the car, out came the leash, and with food in hand, we approached the gate slowly. Just as were just about to reopen the gate a man starts yelling from behind us, telling me to politely move my “fucking car” which in fairness to him was partly blocking his drive. As I tried to reverse the car I had to stop to let a SUV go by and despite taking at most, less that a minute to maneuver out of his way, it wasn’t fast enough for him, so as he got off of his car he kept going on about me being in his “fucking driveway”. Clearly, eloquence is not his first, second or third language
My friends tried to calm him down and explained what happened, but he didn’t give a flying monkey, oh no he walked over to the gate, opened it and walked in, cursing up a storm about us trespassing and the like…which by the way we wern’t, unless touching a gate is considered trespassing in the US. By now the dog is cowering in the corner, clearly petrified. We tried again to explain the situation, hoping only that he would let us in to put a leash on the dog, but being a complete wanker he ignored us. Just when it couldn’t get any worse his wife came out on to the porch, holding what I can only assume was an unfortunate child of theirs... apparently the dog was scaring her “diabetic cat”. I kid you not...yes, the same dog who had gone nowhere near the house and was cowering in the furthest corner of the garden.
While we were begging him to let us in, or to take the leash and bring the dog to us, his wife walked over to him, handed him the baby and then walked up to the gate and without so much as a backward glance flung the gate wide open ... both her and her lovely specimen of a husband thought it was very amusing and stood back laughing as the dog flew out of the garden at full speed.... and disappeared.
So I’m really pissed right now...I have no idea where the dog is I, but I do know that if these ‘vomit buckets’ had helped, or at the very least not hindered our attempt to help, the dog would be somewhere safe and sound.
How could anyone with any degree of humanity behave in such an utterly repugnant manner is beyond me. Neither one of them had any qualms, about what they’d done... in fact he seemed quite chuffed with his maggot macho self as he told us “bitches“(his words not mine) “to fuck off” all the while holding the baby.
As I said at the top of this page.... today I met 2 pathetic excuses for breathing space...or more to the point, 2 pieces of walking/talking excrement masquerading as human beings
Again to be fair, I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t return the favor with some choice words of my own...but anything I may have said wasn’t enough.
03 April, 2009
LESSON # 517- Don’t Believe Everything You See!
Life is a funny old thing, funny bizarre, funny peculiar…. The National Enquirer – now all of us have, at some point found ourselves strangely drawn to the magazine racks at Wal- Greens on tabloid Thursday…oh don’t even bother trying to deny it – who can resist such salubrious bottom-feeding front-page exclusives about Angelina and Brad supposed break-up, president former Bush’s assumed drinking problems Lindsay Lohan's rehab vacations, or Paris Hilton's losing her prison diaries…
Now it’s one thing to read outlandish gossip - quite another to think that you’re the subject of page 19…Photo insert and all!
Before carrying on I should mention, that I have had numerous cornea replacements, and as such, I am notorious for not recognizing famous people, or completely mistaking their identities…Case in point, would be thinking that I was asking Emilio Estevan, how Gloria was, only to be informed that I was in fact taking to Antonio R. Villaraigosa, Mayor of L.A.
Then there was the time I find myself talking with a woman at a rather swish Vanity Fair party… Attempting to engage in party small talk, I asked her what she does for a living?
To which she replies, “I’m a singer” …“Fab,” say I,” What kind of music do you do?”
Musing for a moment she says, “Oh, I like classical, but I guess I’m known as rockish.”
Realizing that I hadn’t asked her what her name was, I of course proceed to ask…she replies “Sheryl”…To which I say-“ Oh that’s so cool, you have the same name as one of my favorite singers, Sheryl Crow…. she’s great…I saw her perform at Lilth…. she was amazing…amazing songwriter” Then, me being me, I merrily launch into a tequila influenced, off- key rendition of “All I want to do is have some fun”. As if that wasn’t enough I unintentionally compound the situation by asking “Do you like her?” To which came the earth-please-swallow-me-whole words “I am Sheryl Crow!”
As of yet, I haven’t mistaken Denzil Washington for Madonna – but I suspect it’s only a matter of time.
Anyway back to the Enquirer story…so there I am turning the pages, when I see a picture of myself, seemingly engaged in a full on kiss. Going thought my mental rolodex, I try to recall who/ when/where, but no-one, springs to mind that looks vaguely familiar- Gasping, I put my hand to my lips, and whisper “Jesus H Christ…I’m in the Enquirer!”
Halle (who you’ll hear lots about as time goes on – because she’s the business one who keeps my scatter-brain together!) rips the magazine out of my hands, looks down, and proceeds to seemingly paraphrase the article, ”Oh my good god they say you dated for 2 years …that you broke up a 7 year marriage …that you just up and left the relationship last month to become a nun”
Then, bursting into to hysterical laughter, and says “ Oh for gods sake, It’s not you, its Mel B you idiot!!!”
I’d like to say that I realized the error of my ways, put the tabloid down, and vowed never to read another gossip rag again – alas, that would be an out and out lie. Euphoric, that it wasn’t a close up of me swapping spit with someone I didn’t even remember kissing, I simply continued reading…. sad but true!
As I write this I am thinking contact lenses might be a good option…
Now it’s one thing to read outlandish gossip - quite another to think that you’re the subject of page 19…Photo insert and all!
Before carrying on I should mention, that I have had numerous cornea replacements, and as such, I am notorious for not recognizing famous people, or completely mistaking their identities…Case in point, would be thinking that I was asking Emilio Estevan, how Gloria was, only to be informed that I was in fact taking to Antonio R. Villaraigosa, Mayor of L.A.
Then there was the time I find myself talking with a woman at a rather swish Vanity Fair party… Attempting to engage in party small talk, I asked her what she does for a living?
To which she replies, “I’m a singer” …“Fab,” say I,” What kind of music do you do?”
Musing for a moment she says, “Oh, I like classical, but I guess I’m known as rockish.”
Realizing that I hadn’t asked her what her name was, I of course proceed to ask…she replies “Sheryl”…To which I say-“ Oh that’s so cool, you have the same name as one of my favorite singers, Sheryl Crow…. she’s great…I saw her perform at Lilth…. she was amazing…amazing songwriter” Then, me being me, I merrily launch into a tequila influenced, off- key rendition of “All I want to do is have some fun”. As if that wasn’t enough I unintentionally compound the situation by asking “Do you like her?” To which came the earth-please-swallow-me-whole words “I am Sheryl Crow!”
As of yet, I haven’t mistaken Denzil Washington for Madonna – but I suspect it’s only a matter of time.
Anyway back to the Enquirer story…so there I am turning the pages, when I see a picture of myself, seemingly engaged in a full on kiss. Going thought my mental rolodex, I try to recall who/ when/where, but no-one, springs to mind that looks vaguely familiar- Gasping, I put my hand to my lips, and whisper “Jesus H Christ…I’m in the Enquirer!”
Halle (who you’ll hear lots about as time goes on – because she’s the business one who keeps my scatter-brain together!) rips the magazine out of my hands, looks down, and proceeds to seemingly paraphrase the article, ”Oh my good god they say you dated for 2 years …that you broke up a 7 year marriage …that you just up and left the relationship last month to become a nun”
Then, bursting into to hysterical laughter, and says “ Oh for gods sake, It’s not you, its Mel B you idiot!!!”
I’d like to say that I realized the error of my ways, put the tabloid down, and vowed never to read another gossip rag again – alas, that would be an out and out lie. Euphoric, that it wasn’t a close up of me swapping spit with someone I didn’t even remember kissing, I simply continued reading…. sad but true!
As I write this I am thinking contact lenses might be a good option…
27 March, 2009
Driving Miss Daisy
It’s fair to say that I am known for cutting it close as regards checking in at the airport…. According to the people I work with “my impatience gene dominates common sense”
Billie Travel Rule #1: if the plane is taking off at 3pm, one should arrive no earlier than 2.30pm…as such, Halle, my ever suffering voice of reason, rarely leaves me to my own devices when traveling to/ from shows!!!!…Ah the joys of good management!
However, me thinks she is a little over cautious, or more to the point I thought she was until a few weeks ago...
Once upon a time there was an 3 headed, wart ridden Witch (Halle!) who wanted to punish the virgin princess of “We’re-Late” land (me!) for refusing to do her evil bidding…
Lets begin…
Allegedly, I was scheduled to take the 2pm domestic flight from LA to San Diego – so Halle being Halle, had my ass in her car at 12pm, even though we were only going to Burbank Airport, which at worst is only 20 minutes away from my 800ft mansion in the Hollywood hills (mansion being a very subjective term!!)
Just to be clear when I say “ only 2O minutes” I do mean 20 minutes. Seriously, I could get decked up as Cat woman, lose the weight needed to wear said outfit, save the world from certain doom, and shoot a cable TV version of Tolstoy’s War and Peace on location, in the frozen depths of Russia and still get to Burbank in twenty minutes! But oh no, little miss “Now, Billie Myers, you don’t want to miss the plane, do you?” needs to get me to the airport an hour and half early...
Whilst, I am tempted, to childishly retort, “Yes Halle, I do want to miss the plane”, I don’t. Nope, being the laid- back, easy to work with, even tempted angelic picture of innocence that I am (Halle don’t roll your eyes) I get into her bird poop covered car, and sulk. Now, I don’t mind bird poop, after all according to ancient British belief it’s a sign of good fortune, BUT I do mind that she’s looking all “cat got the cream” smug- which to be frank, annoys the hell out of me. As a result I start bitching up a storm as to the unreasonableness of getting to Burbank airport nearly an hour and a half before a domestic flight.
I mean what the hell. Does she think my carry-on will be perceived as some sort of terrorist threat that might require 2 burley security guards to give me an hour-long cavity search? Or Maybe, she thinks that I’m going to have a “God is truth, truth is God” epiphany En route, and need 40 days and 40 nights to come to terms with being the second coming?
I have to confess once I start on a tirade I do go on, and on. until I get a reaction- but again Halle knows me too well ... No reaction from her. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Not even a sidelong glance. Ignoring me completely (the worst of all punishments) she concentrates on driving, passing the odd random comment along the way, “Did you see Nip/Tuck last night? How’s Frank doing since he moved? Can you believe Hilary lost?” Then out of nowhere she nonchalantly says “oh, and by the way the flight isn’t at 2pm is at 3pm!”... Now given that I was already put out to be arriving 90minutes early you can imagine that getting to the airport 2 and half hours early, just about did me in.... I was fit to be tied, but there was nothing I could do...she had me held hostage in her Jetta.
Pissed, I sank to the lowest of the low, and started going on about her driving. Her Achilles heel! ...Does she think she’s still in New York? Is there a grand prix going on that I am unaware of? Could she stop changing lanes, as the swerving is making me travel sick! Hey presto! Right on cue, she reacted... Getting all lead foot on the break she tells me in no uncertain terms that next time I can drive my ungrateful ass to the @@$#@ airport.
Then POW!... The car had an Asthma attack. Rattling to a dead stop on the outside lane of the 101, her car took it upon itself to let me know who’s side its on...and it wasn’t mine.
Clearly St. Catherine of Alexandria, the patron saint of mechanics had had enough of my juvenile needling and had taken it upon herself to teach me a lesson. Stuck on the outside lane, the low pitched purr that had previously denoted the simple joy of carefree driving was replaced by the impatient sound of other drivers horning horns while yelling out a storm of bilingual expletives, hand gestures and all.
Halle frantically keeps trying the but to no avail… will a “told you so look of condescending amusement” Halle instructs me to get out and push the car over to the hard shoulder whilst she steers…so despite that fact that it was 100+ degrees outside and I was heels, out I get…
With hindsight I realize I must have made for a pathetic sight…. it didn’t even never occurred to me to take the heels off.
Halle calls for a towing service, who gives her the box standard we’ll be there in 20 mins routine. With no water and no air-conditioning, and a deleted supply of patience we’re dying a slow death (very English Patient Style) Honesty I began seeing floating air conditioners on the horizon.
50 mins. later and still no tow …Halle calls again only to be given the 2nd most over used service lie ever- “Sorry for the delay madam, we have been usually busy today”
Another 40 go by by, Halle calls again to be told lie number #3 “the truck is on his way”…. We wait and wait…Another 25 mins go by. Even ever patient Halle is getting irritable, so irritable in fact that she stomps over to the car and attempts to turn the engine one more time, …and yes you already know what happened the bugger started first time round…not a hiccup…not a rattle, just a gentle purr into action.
Giddy with gratefulness I jumped into the car, ready to roll and ramble on about the tow truck, telling her she was smart to try again...only to hear a very smug Halel say
“That’s why you should always give yourself extra time getting to the airport….”
In other words I told you so!!!!
Billie Travel Rule #1: if the plane is taking off at 3pm, one should arrive no earlier than 2.30pm…as such, Halle, my ever suffering voice of reason, rarely leaves me to my own devices when traveling to/ from shows!!!!…Ah the joys of good management!
However, me thinks she is a little over cautious, or more to the point I thought she was until a few weeks ago...
Once upon a time there was an 3 headed, wart ridden Witch (Halle!) who wanted to punish the virgin princess of “We’re-Late” land (me!) for refusing to do her evil bidding…
Lets begin…
Allegedly, I was scheduled to take the 2pm domestic flight from LA to San Diego – so Halle being Halle, had my ass in her car at 12pm, even though we were only going to Burbank Airport, which at worst is only 20 minutes away from my 800ft mansion in the Hollywood hills (mansion being a very subjective term!!)
Just to be clear when I say “ only 2O minutes” I do mean 20 minutes. Seriously, I could get decked up as Cat woman, lose the weight needed to wear said outfit, save the world from certain doom, and shoot a cable TV version of Tolstoy’s War and Peace on location, in the frozen depths of Russia and still get to Burbank in twenty minutes! But oh no, little miss “Now, Billie Myers, you don’t want to miss the plane, do you?” needs to get me to the airport an hour and half early...
Whilst, I am tempted, to childishly retort, “Yes Halle, I do want to miss the plane”, I don’t. Nope, being the laid- back, easy to work with, even tempted angelic picture of innocence that I am (Halle don’t roll your eyes) I get into her bird poop covered car, and sulk. Now, I don’t mind bird poop, after all according to ancient British belief it’s a sign of good fortune, BUT I do mind that she’s looking all “cat got the cream” smug- which to be frank, annoys the hell out of me. As a result I start bitching up a storm as to the unreasonableness of getting to Burbank airport nearly an hour and a half before a domestic flight.
I mean what the hell. Does she think my carry-on will be perceived as some sort of terrorist threat that might require 2 burley security guards to give me an hour-long cavity search? Or Maybe, she thinks that I’m going to have a “God is truth, truth is God” epiphany En route, and need 40 days and 40 nights to come to terms with being the second coming?
I have to confess once I start on a tirade I do go on, and on. until I get a reaction- but again Halle knows me too well ... No reaction from her. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Not even a sidelong glance. Ignoring me completely (the worst of all punishments) she concentrates on driving, passing the odd random comment along the way, “Did you see Nip/Tuck last night? How’s Frank doing since he moved? Can you believe Hilary lost?” Then out of nowhere she nonchalantly says “oh, and by the way the flight isn’t at 2pm is at 3pm!”... Now given that I was already put out to be arriving 90minutes early you can imagine that getting to the airport 2 and half hours early, just about did me in.... I was fit to be tied, but there was nothing I could do...she had me held hostage in her Jetta.
Pissed, I sank to the lowest of the low, and started going on about her driving. Her Achilles heel! ...Does she think she’s still in New York? Is there a grand prix going on that I am unaware of? Could she stop changing lanes, as the swerving is making me travel sick! Hey presto! Right on cue, she reacted... Getting all lead foot on the break she tells me in no uncertain terms that next time I can drive my ungrateful ass to the @@$#@ airport.
Then POW!... The car had an Asthma attack. Rattling to a dead stop on the outside lane of the 101, her car took it upon itself to let me know who’s side its on...and it wasn’t mine.
Clearly St. Catherine of Alexandria, the patron saint of mechanics had had enough of my juvenile needling and had taken it upon herself to teach me a lesson. Stuck on the outside lane, the low pitched purr that had previously denoted the simple joy of carefree driving was replaced by the impatient sound of other drivers horning horns while yelling out a storm of bilingual expletives, hand gestures and all.
Halle frantically keeps trying the but to no avail… will a “told you so look of condescending amusement” Halle instructs me to get out and push the car over to the hard shoulder whilst she steers…so despite that fact that it was 100+ degrees outside and I was heels, out I get…
With hindsight I realize I must have made for a pathetic sight…. it didn’t even never occurred to me to take the heels off.
Halle calls for a towing service, who gives her the box standard we’ll be there in 20 mins routine. With no water and no air-conditioning, and a deleted supply of patience we’re dying a slow death (very English Patient Style) Honesty I began seeing floating air conditioners on the horizon.
50 mins. later and still no tow …Halle calls again only to be given the 2nd most over used service lie ever- “Sorry for the delay madam, we have been usually busy today”
Another 40 go by by, Halle calls again to be told lie number #3 “the truck is on his way”…. We wait and wait…Another 25 mins go by. Even ever patient Halle is getting irritable, so irritable in fact that she stomps over to the car and attempts to turn the engine one more time, …and yes you already know what happened the bugger started first time round…not a hiccup…not a rattle, just a gentle purr into action.
Giddy with gratefulness I jumped into the car, ready to roll and ramble on about the tow truck, telling her she was smart to try again...only to hear a very smug Halel say
“That’s why you should always give yourself extra time getting to the airport….”
In other words I told you so!!!!
23 March, 2009
Rihanna V...?
There is no doubt it’s very disturbing, and Chris Brown needs rehab AND a long prison term. However, regarding Rihanna, sure it would be great if she did understand that by actively courting a young female fan base, predicated upon her being independent and strong that she has a certain moral obligation to uphold those standards, by standing up and saying this is unacceptable. HOWEVER, I don't feel we should be judging HER so harshly for not doing so; after all she is the victim here. Expecting her to become a poster for domestic abuse might be expecting a bit too much from a 21yr old. At the most private of times abuse presents many emotional obstacles for the victim to overcome, and as such and I can’t even begin to fathom how much the public scrutiny surrounding this disgusting display of violence may have possibly hindered her ability to do the right thing. Sadly, we still live in a society where unacceptable attitudes towards domestic violence are embedded generations deep with the stigma of being a victim shrouded in secrecy and/or shame, or in some way shape or form looked over.
20 March, 2009
In The Beginning
LOL, I have been told to “Embrace modern day technology”, which for someone who still prefers writing in pencil as opposed to tapping out lyrics on a keyboard is a little bit of a stretch...But here goes...let the blog entries begin!
First let me throw this out there to you (ummm of course it could be that my egotistical assumption of universal interest in my life, might well be overly hopeful) what is it you’d like to read about.... sure I can talk only about my self but I can’t help but think that that is a little narcissistic, No?
So step #1 is for you to let me know, what might be of interest to you?
Day to day, I think its fair to say I’m not short of an opinion or two, which is sure to cause a few “oh no she didn’t just say that!” politically incorrect moments. But I can stand the heat...I think!
So lets start here....
10 Things I like:
1) Damages (Glen close is so intimidating)
2) Fried egg sandwiches
3) Jeans that are at least 2 inches too long...they make your legs look longer!
4) Purple
5) Playing devils advocate, (especially with people who have a strong point of view, without having any information to back it up!)
6) Sinead O’Connor
7) 4- ply toilet paper
8) The quote “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before” Mae West.
9) Thrift stores...there’s nothing like a bargain
10) Leaving the gym!
10 Things that really annoy me! (Sounds like a miley Cyrus song!)
1) Gerkins, (pickles)
2) Trying to catch a cab in NYC, in the rain
3) Limewire and other piracy sites that pretend they’re legit.
4) Waiting for my Mac to boot up
5) People smoking round me
5) Violence in general (Chris brown are you reading this?)
6) Text messaging...unless you require a yes/no or maybe answer don’t bother...just call me!
7) A friend of mine who thinks its hilarious to have “Hello, can you hear me” as her ring tone (.... and of course it always rings when we’re at a group dinner! leaving me mortified.... not least when someone says “god don’t you just hate that song!” - yes that has happened!)
8) People who say” I love you” at the drop of a hat.
9) Snakes
10) The fact that I can’t spell.
First let me throw this out there to you (ummm of course it could be that my egotistical assumption of universal interest in my life, might well be overly hopeful) what is it you’d like to read about.... sure I can talk only about my self but I can’t help but think that that is a little narcissistic, No?
So step #1 is for you to let me know, what might be of interest to you?
Day to day, I think its fair to say I’m not short of an opinion or two, which is sure to cause a few “oh no she didn’t just say that!” politically incorrect moments. But I can stand the heat...I think!
So lets start here....
10 Things I like:
1) Damages (Glen close is so intimidating)
2) Fried egg sandwiches
3) Jeans that are at least 2 inches too long...they make your legs look longer!
4) Purple
5) Playing devils advocate, (especially with people who have a strong point of view, without having any information to back it up!)
6) Sinead O’Connor
7) 4- ply toilet paper
8) The quote “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before” Mae West.
9) Thrift stores...there’s nothing like a bargain
10) Leaving the gym!
10 Things that really annoy me! (Sounds like a miley Cyrus song!)
1) Gerkins, (pickles)
2) Trying to catch a cab in NYC, in the rain
3) Limewire and other piracy sites that pretend they’re legit.
4) Waiting for my Mac to boot up
5) People smoking round me
5) Violence in general (Chris brown are you reading this?)
6) Text messaging...unless you require a yes/no or maybe answer don’t bother...just call me!
7) A friend of mine who thinks its hilarious to have “Hello, can you hear me” as her ring tone (.... and of course it always rings when we’re at a group dinner! leaving me mortified.... not least when someone says “god don’t you just hate that song!” - yes that has happened!)
8) People who say” I love you” at the drop of a hat.
9) Snakes
10) The fact that I can’t spell.
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